Guy Tiphane
Dr. Daravan
EN 216
May 30, 2002
ARE YOU THERE? WELL, YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ME, SO I KNOW I HAVE TO SPEAK UP! THEY TOLD ME ABOUT THAT!
OK. Now that I got your attention, I will tell you of my existence. I was born once and reborn a couple of times. Born one of seven, you know, just one more, the fourth before the fifth. I was better off being the fourth because they talked seriously about not getting the fifth. But it went on until the parents got too old to make healthy children. Humanae Vitae was Latin for disaster. Italics indicate fancy words and the pronunciation is controversial.
#2 and #3 liked the Beatles and got caught in revolutions while I sheltered and tried to exist by the rules. They said I shouldn’t kiss the girl next door and the more A’s I could bring back from school, the more they would like me. My dad just never said anything after he said I had to be a man. They said I should deal with my pains, my fears, my anxiety, so I did. I shut up. Then they said I was shy. Sorry, he’s shy. Not our fault.
Oh, school? A breeze, as long as I could figure out the mechanisms, the algorithms. My favorite teachers were from other countries. They had not figured out a pattern for me to conform to.
Work? I accidentally met someone who just let me create computer programs and it worked for me. Late nights were my favorite. When my mentor retired I was lost, like a Samurai whose master died. They said I had no confidence in myself. Nothing ever comes to an end with me. The kitchen cupboards are left open. But bills and love letters are always picked up from the stack of unopened mail.
They said I should get out of my shell. It’s all white and no yolk. Half platonic. Leda and the Swan. Middle Ages: only Monks. But they know how to write.
Rebuild. Reboot. Turn off, then on again. Reset. Renaissance? Ignore what you think people think about you because they don’t really think about you. They don’t give a…
Am I straight, gay, bi, trans? I can’t be lesbian, by definition. Decide when I’m dead and you analyze my texts. Have fun. Meanwhile if you like me, I like you, and vice-versa.
But you are still reading this. You are exploring layer #1 of child #4. If you hang around I will tell you stories. If you hang around I will tell you stories from the other layers. Inspired by. Derived from. A translation. Interpretation. Vaguely. Remotely. If you like.
Stay with
me. I need you. You are the proof of my existence. Stay.
Stay. Stay.